The Bachelor Finale

Warning: Bachelor Finale spoilers are ahead, so consider this your fair warning if you haven’t watched yet. I would say this finale was one for the books – and not in a good way. I’ll get into that more a little bit later in this post.

I watched three hours of tv tonight for you. Is there any way they can cut this down to like – two hours? I’ve got some thoughts. If you missed out on last week’s recap, you can read that here.

Meet the family

The finale began with Michelle getting to meet Matt’s mom and brother. His mom was incredibly sweet, and I loved seeing the bond that Matt has with his mom. It’s something special. Michelle continues to impress. She’s smart, she’s well spoken, and she’s just the total package. Their date after Michele met Matt’s mom and brother sends them repelling down one of the walls of Nemacolin.

And Matt starts to have doubts. His doubt stems from something his mom said, which was that love can fade over time. I don’t think that’s necessarily what she meant, but Matt sure took it heart. I think she meant that your feelings for something can change over time. But this sets Matt on a trajectory that will change him forever. By the time Michelle and Matt make it to the evening portion of the date, Matt is in his head. It’s written all over his face, and as soon as Michelle breaks out the custom Mr. and Mrs. James jerseys, Matt has decided the best decision is to eliminate Michelle.

Rachel is up next to meet Matt’s mom and brother. Rachel hits it off with both of them, and she’s definitely the frontrunner at this point. The meeting goes well, but Matt is so in his feels about what his mom says, he decides to forego his last date with Rachel. Oh boy. I think that might be the most dramatic power move we’ve seen on the show.

Next thing I know, Matt and Neil Lane are on my screen PICKING OUT RINGS. And I’m freaking out because no way is Matt ready to get down on one knee to propose. And, if Rachel thought she was ready to accept a proposal, she’s got some more livin’ left she needs to do.

The proposal

I’m panicked at this point. They keep showing Matt on the screen saying that he’s got doubts, that he isn’t sure if he’s ready to take this next step, but they have him standing at the FREAKING SPOT OF THE PROPOSAL WITH A RING. It’s at this point that I can’t even. I feel for him. What Matt needs is support from someone who truly cares about him and his feelings. Not a producer, not someone behind the scenes who is trying to exploit this man’s feelings and past trauma for good tv. I pray to all the gods that Matt doesn’t propose.

Spoiler alert: he does not. THANK GOD. He tells Rachael that he does love her, he does see a future with her, but he just isn’t ready to propose. And I respect the heck out of that decision. Way to go, Matt.

I think that Matt displayed an immense amount of emotional intelligence, and it’s something that this franchise needs. It doesn’t need a lead who will play into the whims of what the producers want them to do. It needs a lead who is capable of making his or her own decision on his or her own time.

After the Final Rose

Emmanuel Acho was the perfect choice to host this particular After the Final Rose. Given everything that’s come out over the last month or so, Acho was the perfect choice to host. If you aren’t familiar, he has a series called “Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man.”

I feel for Emmanuel because he took front seat to a couple of really uncomfortable moments.

First up in the hot seat was Michelle. She rehashed her time on the show, but she was particularly looking for closure from Matt. So, they brought Matt at, and I’m not quite sure she got the closure she was looking for (she did get an apology), but she seemed ready to move forward.

Emmanuel interviews Matt

Next, Emmanuel chatted with Matt about his experience as the first black bachelor. This is where Emmanuel’s perspective was incredibly useful to white viewers. He took us through some of the emotional burdens that Matt had to take on as the first black Bachelor, and it provided some much-needed perspective that viewers missed this entire season. It’s worth listening to if you didn’t have the chance.

Next, they bring Rachael out. Matt reveals that they are no longer together after racially-insensitive photos surfaced of Rachael back in 2018. Rachael has since issued a public apology, but it was enough to put the nail in the coffin of her and Matt’s relationship.

You can tell there is some deeply embedded hurt there. And, once again, I’m so proud of Matt for standing his ground. Rachael says she’s putting in the work and seeking out additional education so she understands better the plight of the black man (or woman) in America today. And she apologized to Matt, which was a start. I can’t speak for Matt, but the hurt and the burden he still seems to be carrying won’t be healed by an apology. Only time can heal those wounds, and I hope to see Matt continue to channel that energy into changing the world for the better!

Your next Bachelorette(s)

Yep, you read that right. Plural. Two bachelorettes. Emmanuel wasn’t kidding when he said there would be a curveball. He announced that there will be TWO seasons on the Bachelorette to grace our tv screens over the next several months. You want to know who they are? Katie and Michelle. I think both women will be fabulous.

My final thoughts

Now, I don’t think the burden is completely on the Bachelor to tackle issues like race. But, they shouldn’t advertise that’s what they want to do if they aren’t adequately prepared to do so. And they weren’t. They tried to go deep, but barely scratched the surface, and in doing so, exposed all of the cracks beneath the foundation. The franchise has some work to do.

I’ll leave you with this, I liked what Emmanuel said about not playing in to cancel culture, but to take an active role in holding people accountable. And, if the Bachelor wants to continue to make an attempt at tackling some of these issues, I hope they can do it with more sensitivity in the future.